Halloween's the time of year where people of all ages get to dress up/act in ways they normally don't.
Others like to use this time as an excuse to dress in ways that leave little to the imagination.

I plan on going as a healthy version of myself.

I've noticed a spike in new traffic hitting my page recently.
Welcome all!
Just feel free to skip anything before March '06.
I was still recovering from a previous relationship an' by then I've managed to fully develop my writing style.

Ideally, I can keep putting up entertaining posts.
They just need to get past the editing stages.

I Hate You (light version)

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to say.
I don't love you anymore, I'm glad I feel that way.
You sold my mom's wheelchair on ebay for 5 bucks.
And made her take a cab.
Swallowed all her vicodin.
Asked her why she was so mad.

I hate you, I hate you.
Everything about you really sucks.
I hate you, I hate you.
You're the biggest whore I've ever done.

I hope the doctor says I'm clean.
I really hate you.
You're a pussy bending machine.

You said you wanted me to teach you how to sing.
The sound of two dogs f-ing has a better ring.
You kicked my grandma in the face on Christmas Eve.
And stole her Matlock tapes.
Filled it up with Family Guy.
And told her it was a mistake.<

I hate you, I hate you.
Everything you look at turns to stone.
I hate you, I hate you.
Tried to choke me with a rotary phone.

I didn't know they still made those.
Oh yea and I hate you.
Your ragged head and big painted toes.
Oh yea.
Oh yea...
Oh yea... yea.

Sometimes I wonder if there's still a chance with her.
No, f-that I still wish she'd get hit by a bus.
You told me that you saw my father at the mall.
But he's been dead for years.
You said "oh I remember now."
I scream these words through my tears.

I hate you, I hate you.
Everytime you call me I hang up.
I hate you, I hate you.
Slashed all of the tires on my truck.

I rode a tricycle to school.
Now I really hate you.
You tried to drown me in your pool.

I hate you, I hate you.
Hopefully I made this very clear.
I hate you, I hate you.
Smoked all of my weed and drank my beer.

I mixed the beer with cyanide.
I really hate you.
Everyone's so happy you died.

I hate you, I hate you.
I hate you, I hate you.
I hate you.
Really hate you.
I hate you...

--------------------------------

found this gem of a song from my early 2000 archives.
there are benefits to constantly wanting to edit my writings before I make them public.
not entirely sure if there was any actual inspiration for this at the time.
I think this was just the end result of some improv singing.

Editing writings an' filtering through archives has made me realize something.
For the past 4 years, I've always had strong dating options for the month of October.
I wonder why things have consistently worked out that way for me.

Excerpts from my Dating Manual pt.1:

Rejection, It's okay

Now that you find yourself more knowledgeable about how to approach that woman you're interested in, let's take the time to bring ourselves to a reality check.

Rejection.
It happens.
Whether it's your first attempt at conversation with a woman that piques your interest or your 1000+ time, expect rejection.

Dating's like a traffic light.
Green light - yay
Yellow light - take things slow
Red Light - nooooope
Next time you find yourself at an intersection, look around and notice that these light changes are happening constantly and frequently.
Rejection, like red lights & sadly boring twists from recent M. Night Shylaman movies, is a naturally occuring thing.
Some of you nay-sayers will be thinking: not if the power goes out.
Going back to our chapter on confidence, how are you gonna know that traffic light isn't powered if you don't put yourself out there?
At the least, it turns into a stop sign, which doesn't necessarily mean you can't move past it.
Just observe the right of way, wait your turn, then head off to find your next best opportunity.

I haven't seen the future, but I have seen the present.
Mainly alot of guys going in with expectations set too high.
"No."
"Not in this lifetime."
"I've already got a boyfriend."
"I've just decided to become a lesbian."
"I'm a fan of penis, just not yours."
"I think I just vomited a little in my mouth."
They get hit by rejection lines like those and their world just disintegrates.
These are the guys that get caught into thinking that it's a life or death struggle.
The fate of the world depends on whether or not they get her contact info.
That if they don't kiss that woman, the guy playing guitar at their prom'll just disappear into nothing.
That humanity's future is at risk if they don't procreate that night.
That Lost will end abruptly without answering any questions if nothing happens.
Getting too extreme?
Some guys take it that far.
Don't be one of those guys.

Take a different perspective.
Know that the world will still be there the following morning if she rejects you.
Know that there's a strong possibility she'll reject you.
Know that you're not the only one shot down by her.

Which brings me to an important point: you're not the only guy in the world that's been rejected by a woman that's worth your interest.
It's a very rare thing to be that guy that has the looks, money, personality, brains, & mental stability all brought together into a single package.
We all can't be that one Uncle at the family party that drinks too much and starts groping your cousins inappropriately.

Be content with who you are.
If you're gonna sense a running theme throughout these sections, that's what it is.
Be content with who you are.

For this particular section, realize nobody out there can get whatever person they want.
In this aspect, I like to compare dating to baseball.
Specifically, On Base Percentage an' Batters Average.
At best I'm a career .312 hitter.
I've had my share of plenty of misses.
I'm human.
They're human.
Sometimes people/personality/chemistry won't mesh well together.
Best thing you can do is keep stepping into the batter's box an' swing away.
You'll get better at it, you'll see the pitches better, you're more likely to get on base.

Which harkens back to the Confidence section.
Things are more easier and fun once you know what you're doing.
In the realm of dating, the only way to get experience for most people is to put themselves out there.
Others have stupid amounts of money.
I'm not one of 'em.
Personally, I don't feel that any lessons learned through that route would be meaningful/usefull.

Rejection happens.
It's one of the laws of nature.
I want you to be comfortable with that fact so when it does happen to you, you'll be able to recover faster and move along.
------------------------------

A general snippet from the manual I've been slowly editing over the years.
It's essentially a collection of all my lectures/pep talks/observations surrounding the dating scene I've acquired over the years.
Why people consistently keep turning to me for advice I'm not sure of.
Technically, I'm single.
But my advice has worked for them.
I must be saying something right.

And now a snippet from an unnamed novel I've been piecing together for close to two decades:

As Tum Tum trudged along at the front of the line he couldn't help but find himself hating the worldly troubles that were brought about him recently. His village nickname managed to follow him into this mercenary corp and he made a horrible first impression on his squad commander. With the hair let loose about the shoulders an' chain mail hugging to every curve of that slender body, anybody would've mistaken the commander for a woman too right? At least without hearing the squad commander's strong baritone voice ringing throughout the camp. There was a reason he was at the very front of the vanguard. Life hated him.

In retrospect, it seems that life always had misgivings aplenty to send his way.
Three weeks ago he was the son of a famed merchant, and lacking all of his skills. The series of events that lead to his friends thinking he lost his virginity to livestock. His only meager claim to fame in his village was that bottomless "Tum Tum" of his that lead to his victory at the annual grape festival as a child. When the Deviled Rapiers settled in, he saw an opportunity with this mercenary corp to make a better name for himself. To be more than the tavern's stableman. To actually bed women without the use of currency. To actually be respected.

This was a great start.

At least they were no longer marching under the harsh glare of the sun he told himself..
A week's march had brought them into the forested outskirts of the Kingdom of Dainian. A kingdom rife with civil war after the unexpected loss of it's monarch. Torn between the court officials that turned the child-king into a puppet and the lords that fought alongside the late monarch to bring peace to the region a decade ago.
Tum Tum didn't care much for that. In his quiet village, all he heard about was the Kingdom's specialization of the Rifle. He figured any region that can mass-produce weapons like that would certainly be a wealthy one. One that an average height, average build, average kind of nameless villager could take advantage of.

As he looked around he felt certain that he had something in common with the group members.
A ragtag group of adventurers that felt they had to take what they wanted from the world because it refused to give it to them. Positive thinking. Belief in my comrades. Tum Tum felt that would be enough to get him through the rough times ahead of him.

The problem with working odd jobs in the village is that it never afforded him the need to kill anybody.
Would it be easy for him? Could he go through with it? Would he be able to deal with the guilt after the fact? He gripped the spear his father gave him before he left. Quite generous of him, seeing as how no one would buy it. A cursed spear found on the battlefields the local legends stated. It'll get the job done, that's the only thing that mattered. A few more days, he'd be at the royal palace. In a week, on the battlefield. Pointy end goes into fleshy part. Simple. All too simple.

Much like the path they were on.
Just a simple shortcut their guide found running through the woods. A simple path that caused them to march shoulder to shoulder with the man next to them. Full of simple foliage. Simple rocks. Simple shade providing trees. Simple sounds of animals running through the forest. Simple sounds of thunder echoing through the forest.

"Strange. I don't remember any signs of storms when we first entered." Tum Tum stated to his new friend Geoff.
Geoff, normally the talkative one of the group was staring blankly at his chest. His fingers running over a hole he didn't remember being there.

What Tum Tum found himself staring at was the direct result of one of those famed rifles he heard about.
If he didn't find himself with an arrow suddenly protruding from his neck, he probably would've taken the time to recognize the sheer power of this newer weapon. As he watched Geoff fall forward into the ground, Tum Tum felt his legs give out from underneath him. The only thing he could think to himself while the world around him slowly faded into darkness was: "Man. Life really hates me."
--------------------------------

This "Realm" I created started back in my Junior High days as a comic book I wrote/illustrated.
It was a fantasy realm full of swords, guns, magic, dragons, and fighters that were on par with the Dragonball Z series.
By the time it got to the end of the High school years, it had evolved into a graphic novel.
Gone were the fantasy elements. In it's place was a focus on kingdom politics & military tactics because those were subjects I thoroughly enjoyed learning about.
Fast forward to the college years and beyond.
It's still heavy on the political intrigues between factions & kingdoms. There's still a premium on military tactics. It's just edged slightly towards a steampunk vibe. At least with some of the Countries/Kingdoms/Principalities entering the Industrialized Age sooner than their counterparts.

Where this particular scene fits in?
I'm not sure.
In my years of playing around with this world I've managed to build up generations of history and culture.
At least I have more things to put on paper now.

But since I'm a fan of mixing things up, my next online posting'll probably be a song.
Melody gets stuck in my head, you get to enjoy/suffer the end result.

I just realized that it's been a long time since I've pitched any San Diego area shows here.
Time to change that.



Jane Lui @ Lestats West.
October 8th - 8pm
All Ages
$10 cover charge(?)

Jane Lui was consistently one of my favorite gems of the San Diego music scene.
She then moved up north for a change of scenery an' a chance to focus on her music full-time.
A minor depression swept over San Diego county.
While that was happening, she blew up.
Which is awesome.
She's a goofy, genuine, sweet, an' overall wonderful woman.
Those qualities translate into her live performances.
Where you'll find yourself translated and entranced.
If you ever wanted to emulate those snakes dancing to the tune of a snake charmer, Friday night's your chance.

As a bonus: you can download her newest album in its entirety here.

I've been meaning to put up a few new pieces the past week.
Manly two songs, a spoken word piece, and a snippet of a novel I've been working on part-time for over a decade.
Needless to say, I've been distracted.
All my energies have been focused on starting up a business venture.
One that's truly legit and has me excited about my future prospects.

More details to be announced later.

Although, if anybody in San Diego's North County would like to see what's managed to captivate my attention/energy so strongly, you're more than welcome to join me Tuesday night.
Weekly business meeting.
Contact me if you're interested.